Monday, July 13, 2009
Saturday, July 4, 2009
The words to that song I finally wrote...
(Fm C Eb Bb)
I'm writing to thank you
for building me a shell
I hope you can afford it
Hope you're getting well
I crawled into that car stereo
Inside I hear you
quoting Dostoyevsky
(by yourself)
(Bridge? Verse? Whatever. Bb Eb C Eb)
I hope everything is as I left it
I hope all those strings are in order
You know they're precious
I wish all these hemlines still fit
But I know it's just a test
to see if we still exist
(And back to...)
I'm writing to thank you
for building me a shell
The less light bounces off you
the more you are yourself
and I am someone else
(I am going to try to record it/make it nice, but I have an embarrassing lack of microphone)
I'm writing to thank you
for building me a shell
I hope you can afford it
Hope you're getting well
I crawled into that car stereo
Inside I hear you
quoting Dostoyevsky
(by yourself)
(Bridge? Verse? Whatever. Bb Eb C Eb)
I hope everything is as I left it
I hope all those strings are in order
You know they're precious
I wish all these hemlines still fit
But I know it's just a test
to see if we still exist
(And back to...)
I'm writing to thank you
for building me a shell
The less light bounces off you
the more you are yourself
and I am someone else
(I am going to try to record it/make it nice, but I have an embarrassing lack of microphone)
Thursday, July 2, 2009
July 2nd? Already? This is a make-up
You're the smallest
free form
so small I sometimes
forget you
When I get nervous,
I could swear you
melt in my cup
show up in my veins
three days later
so damn amorphous
those little drips
of air
like sweat
get claustrophobic
and fizzle over
Maybe if you're lucky
you get a hiccup
free form
so small I sometimes
forget you
When I get nervous,
I could swear you
melt in my cup
show up in my veins
three days later
so damn amorphous
those little drips
of air
like sweat
get claustrophobic
and fizzle over
Maybe if you're lucky
you get a hiccup
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
june 29th
A dressing room and house lights.
Greasepaint on the wicked stage.
Lines, always doing your lines.
Motivation. Left right and centre.
Curtain. Blackout. Fade.
Methods, madness. Maybe
a musical. Those ingenue
scenes again, always
the drama. In the chorus.
In the wings, catwalks.
Auditions, a forgotten
circle of the Inferno.
Dress rehearsal. Rehearse
for the possible applause.
Greasepaint on the wicked stage.
Lines, always doing your lines.
Motivation. Left right and centre.
Curtain. Blackout. Fade.
Methods, madness. Maybe
a musical. Those ingenue
scenes again, always
the drama. In the chorus.
In the wings, catwalks.
Auditions, a forgotten
circle of the Inferno.
Dress rehearsal. Rehearse
for the possible applause.
Monday, June 29, 2009
June 29th
we look at paintings
as if the world could be our oyster
except an oyster isn't an oyster
just like
a cigar is just a cigar
is just an image
of a cigar or that
burned out hole in the tree
and we don't answer
because we're all too nervous
pack up all our clothes
knot them in plastic bags
'til they spill out of the car
like cabbages
and anyone will tell you
a cabbage is not a cabbage
as if the world could be our oyster
except an oyster isn't an oyster
just like
a cigar is just a cigar
is just an image
of a cigar or that
burned out hole in the tree
and we don't answer
because we're all too nervous
pack up all our clothes
knot them in plastic bags
'til they spill out of the car
like cabbages
and anyone will tell you
a cabbage is not a cabbage
and another one's gone
He has a tattoo for every child
but not in that order
gap in his front teeth from
one prison, the crack
in his nose from another
maybe Serbia or
Bosnia, he can't
remember
since he's been
sober
he just says
he was in the army,
it's an easier
explanation
now he lives
in a bungalow,
watches food tv
with the one woman
whose babies
have his mother tongue.
but not in that order
gap in his front teeth from
one prison, the crack
in his nose from another
maybe Serbia or
Bosnia, he can't
remember
since he's been
sober
he just says
he was in the army,
it's an easier
explanation
now he lives
in a bungalow,
watches food tv
with the one woman
whose babies
have his mother tongue.
and another! o prolific day.
but go forth and multiply, said god and the mormons- i can, said the lesbian, too
for the purposes of the exercise
I am dirt
I am dark and soft and receptive
to seeds
I am that loamy word I loathe-
fecund, like a plum tree
in blossom, about to swell
all over
and if we were to lie down
right now, I would burst
into bloom - if you so much
as came
close to me I will be
fruitful and multiply
like flies, I am a
pomegranate
on the inside
all those ruby
red arils full of
juice but so hard
to crack, this
forbidden
fruit.
for the purposes of the exercise
I am dirt
I am dark and soft and receptive
to seeds
I am that loamy word I loathe-
fecund, like a plum tree
in blossom, about to swell
all over
and if we were to lie down
right now, I would burst
into bloom - if you so much
as came
close to me I will be
fruitful and multiply
like flies, I am a
pomegranate
on the inside
all those ruby
red arils full of
juice but so hard
to crack, this
forbidden
fruit.
june 29th
Night fell around my ankles-
its hemline worn down
and out, unravelling
beneath heels and
pinpoints of stars,
a dropped thread
of cloud & sunset
slip still showing
its hemline worn down
and out, unravelling
beneath heels and
pinpoints of stars,
a dropped thread
of cloud & sunset
slip still showing
Sunday, June 28, 2009
June 28th
Before we sneezed
at the sun
into our suitcase
recorder microphones
in your footcloset basement,
it was going to be
a story about how
no one but me
knows why these steeples
aren't the same height.
at the sun
into our suitcase
recorder microphones
in your footcloset basement,
it was going to be
a story about how
no one but me
knows why these steeples
aren't the same height.
make up for june 27th
i remember she hated that painting
with her face in the purple ground
like a seed, a tendril of green hair
and cradled in thick leaves,
long dove-grey horizon behind
it hung above the couch
between all the real
plants
and something about that seed
the artist hated, too-
something wrong in your
seedling face upturned
to an absent sun
back to the brushes
and he burnt it,
buried its shreds
and ashes
in the ground
with her face in the purple ground
like a seed, a tendril of green hair
and cradled in thick leaves,
long dove-grey horizon behind
it hung above the couch
between all the real
plants
and something about that seed
the artist hated, too-
something wrong in your
seedling face upturned
to an absent sun
back to the brushes
and he burnt it,
buried its shreds
and ashes
in the ground
june 28th
crenshaw
sunday afternoon smitten
with this melon we can't
pronounce, tastes like
we can't elope
or honey do?
sunday afternoon smitten
with this melon we can't
pronounce, tastes like
we can't elope
or honey do?
Saturday, June 27, 2009
June 27th
You have the fuzziest
eyebrows a lady's ever seen
like boy scouts alert and unkept
up early to fold the flag
so it falls just right and asking
are you serious right now?
eyebrows a lady's ever seen
like boy scouts alert and unkept
up early to fold the flag
so it falls just right and asking
are you serious right now?
to make up for yesterday, june 26th
She seemed sad to be leaving,
in the way a spider feels maybe sad
about leaving another empty web.
It looked so clean and white.
She had the windows covered
up with towels. I felt sticky
and afraid to touch anything.
It looked so clean. Even
her kinks in the bedroom carpet.
Her chemical traces of hair in the sink.
in the way a spider feels maybe sad
about leaving another empty web.
It looked so clean and white.
She had the windows covered
up with towels. I felt sticky
and afraid to touch anything.
It looked so clean. Even
her kinks in the bedroom carpet.
Her chemical traces of hair in the sink.
Friday, June 26, 2009
June 26th
we told ghost stories
huddled in our stripes
brushed our teeth self-conscious
with the length and colour of our spit
combed our flyaways high
in the bloody mary mirrors
huddled in our stripes
brushed our teeth self-conscious
with the length and colour of our spit
combed our flyaways high
in the bloody mary mirrors
Thursday, June 25, 2009
June 25th
My new dread--
is being
one marshmallow kid.
The kid takes
candy in absolutism,
urgency, like
he'll pair up with
Satan for a show.
Two marshmallow kid
waits
scores high
on SATs and goes
to Yale
entices those
researchers to come
back so they can say
"We had her once.
I bet you know what
she did," because
the answer's obvious:
She's two marshmallow kid,
All patience and
the Suzuki method.
One marshmallow kid
forgets and then
dreads forgetting,
wakes up to not talk
to strangers,
even to say how old
she is
afraid of men
and ever since she ran
into that lamp post
off the subway
backwards
snuggled up like
she was just waiting
for someone to offer her
that marshmallow,
Ever since,
one marshmallow kid's
been watching
two marshmallow kid
differ rewards
posted on those lamp posts like
at least one of them's
single-minded
(but who's left-brained?)
One marshmallow kid
won't remember
this bedtime story
in a week,
where the moral is
Take the two marshmallows.
Those are your
little red pills
to realization.
is being
one marshmallow kid.
The kid takes
candy in absolutism,
urgency, like
he'll pair up with
Satan for a show.
Two marshmallow kid
waits
scores high
on SATs and goes
to Yale
entices those
researchers to come
back so they can say
"We had her once.
I bet you know what
she did," because
the answer's obvious:
She's two marshmallow kid,
All patience and
the Suzuki method.
One marshmallow kid
forgets and then
dreads forgetting,
wakes up to not talk
to strangers,
even to say how old
she is
afraid of men
and ever since she ran
into that lamp post
off the subway
backwards
snuggled up like
she was just waiting
for someone to offer her
that marshmallow,
Ever since,
one marshmallow kid's
been watching
two marshmallow kid
differ rewards
posted on those lamp posts like
at least one of them's
single-minded
(but who's left-brained?)
One marshmallow kid
won't remember
this bedtime story
in a week,
where the moral is
Take the two marshmallows.
Those are your
little red pills
to realization.
To make up for June 24th
I got all
slick
with ecohouse
and antibiotics
she said,
serious and delight
like citrus paint thinner
full of wait-- to meet
(and drip)
"I know her really well"
and "it would be perfect"
except this says
"sealed water-filled
metal container" and
"fat over lean"
there's beads and poison
and just wait to catch fire.
slick
with ecohouse
and antibiotics
she said,
serious and delight
like citrus paint thinner
full of wait-- to meet
(and drip)
"I know her really well"
and "it would be perfect"
except this says
"sealed water-filled
metal container" and
"fat over lean"
there's beads and poison
and just wait to catch fire.
june 25th
I woke up. Pried open my eyelids
lash by lash. The sun was out. My skin
shimmered thick in the heat. Left
sticky footprints on the kitchen tile.
Breakfast stuck to the roof of my
mouth, everything tastes slick
and burnt. Asphalt for lunch.
Rubber skid marks off the road
for dinner. My fingerprints
whorled black on silverware,
toothbrush and doorknob.
I pulled the curtains shut
with a smear. My new cocoon
flakes off in the bath, tiny
black piece by piece. I can
almost feel water. Almost
sleep.
lash by lash. The sun was out. My skin
shimmered thick in the heat. Left
sticky footprints on the kitchen tile.
Breakfast stuck to the roof of my
mouth, everything tastes slick
and burnt. Asphalt for lunch.
Rubber skid marks off the road
for dinner. My fingerprints
whorled black on silverware,
toothbrush and doorknob.
I pulled the curtains shut
with a smear. My new cocoon
flakes off in the bath, tiny
black piece by piece. I can
almost feel water. Almost
sleep.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
yesterday: june 23rd
she
opened the oven and scraped
her hands against the wall of
heat, sparks and smoke
curling between her fingers
and now this clawmark
where metal tried to kiss
skin screams at warmth,
winces under cold water,
hides in the curl of a fist.
opened the oven and scraped
her hands against the wall of
heat, sparks and smoke
curling between her fingers
and now this clawmark
where metal tried to kiss
skin screams at warmth,
winces under cold water,
hides in the curl of a fist.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
June 23rd
Ow ow ow ow ow ow
ow ow ow ow ow ow
ouchie!
How am I supposed
to learn
to write backwards
and forwards
at the same time
when that poster
keeps telling me
EXCUSES ARE THE NAILS
USED TO BUILD THE HOUSE
OF FAILURE?
ow ow ow ow ow ow
ouchie!
How am I supposed
to learn
to write backwards
and forwards
at the same time
when that poster
keeps telling me
EXCUSES ARE THE NAILS
USED TO BUILD THE HOUSE
OF FAILURE?
Monday, June 22, 2009
June 22nd (you borrowed my line, I borrowed your unpublished exercize)
it's so hard to
name things
gets crass
weighs a lot
our bones are named
for N.
since he's dead
and stout
made well
or made up
but don't tell
your puns about names
or name your kids
in jokes
words like sky
make cruel beasts
out from through
your legs
i've heard there
are lots of ways to
get a fiend
stuffed in your claws
so name her nice,
you hear?
june 22nd- i borrowed your first line from yesterday ;)
here's why I didn't:
because everyone already thought I did,
and we could go alone to the l'audace
where they threw glasses at anglophones
and people would leave us alone
cuz he was fun and made me blush
for good reasons sometimes and then
sometimes not- sang backstreet boys karaoke
in a quebecois cougar bar
cuz all his friends were vacuuous
because instead i stayed up all night
to help him pack and wait for the taxi
cuz his best friend made sure to tell me
about the girlfriend and there was a picture
of her on his laptop and she was so cute,
and how could i do that to another girl?
because everyone already thought I did,
and we could go alone to the l'audace
where they threw glasses at anglophones
and people would leave us alone
cuz he was fun and made me blush
for good reasons sometimes and then
sometimes not- sang backstreet boys karaoke
in a quebecois cougar bar
cuz all his friends were vacuuous
because instead i stayed up all night
to help him pack and wait for the taxi
cuz his best friend made sure to tell me
about the girlfriend and there was a picture
of her on his laptop and she was so cute,
and how could i do that to another girl?
Sunday, June 21, 2009
June 21st (for realz)
it's just not as good
i swear
it's like these things
we're waiting to happen
finally do
and then we get surprised
hadn't expected to pay
for your sins
had you?
one day they'll
show up at the right time
and say just that
i swear
it's like these things
we're waiting to happen
finally do
and then we get surprised
hadn't expected to pay
for your sins
had you?
one day they'll
show up at the right time
and say just that
June 21st (retroactive to yesterday?)
Here's why I didn't:
beer from the teapot spout
family heirloom and built
from old plastic
eighteen different conversations
gone on too long
as significant as forgettable
floors got sticky,
held me in place
must have said something
minutely meaningful
After I
followed you inside
in arbitrariness
because your friend
spoke so loudly
about his name
arranged to lean
against the barbecue
facing old brawl hill
This place hasn't
latched in years
so it doesn't
really hold on
so tight anymore.
beer from the teapot spout
family heirloom and built
from old plastic
eighteen different conversations
gone on too long
as significant as forgettable
floors got sticky,
held me in place
must have said something
minutely meaningful
After I
followed you inside
in arbitrariness
because your friend
spoke so loudly
about his name
arranged to lean
against the barbecue
facing old brawl hill
This place hasn't
latched in years
so it doesn't
really hold on
so tight anymore.
june 21st
the burlesque parades our heeled
hooves onto a cement floor sticky with
feathers and glitter
we show our red
lips and snake-oil skin
at the meat market
tonight's special:
breasts, thighs, hearts, livers, wings
hooves onto a cement floor sticky with
feathers and glitter
we show our red
lips and snake-oil skin
at the meat market
tonight's special:
breasts, thighs, hearts, livers, wings
Saturday, June 20, 2009
pt. II
i was born a double negative,
firstborn but girl child caesarian
my cousin had stolen my name
eleven days before
instead of a nursing
princess
i was born on yom kippur and
began to fast right away,
a name weary
from weeping
firstborn but girl child caesarian
my cousin had stolen my name
eleven days before
instead of a nursing
princess
i was born on yom kippur and
began to fast right away,
a name weary
from weeping
writing = more fun than work
which witch baby was I,
black shock of hair mohawked
with broken water and
a beak like I hatched myself
out of an egg too early
and hip unhinged, left leg
dragging like an interrupted
wing - i don't remember but
i crawled for such a
very long time
black shock of hair mohawked
with broken water and
a beak like I hatched myself
out of an egg too early
and hip unhinged, left leg
dragging like an interrupted
wing - i don't remember but
i crawled for such a
very long time
june 20th
für die Frau in Blue Lounge die nach meine Nummer gefragt hatte
es war ein blaues Frühlingsnacht im Altstadt
und alles blau in der Strasse war
aber unter dem Fußweg ist rot
und aufschimmert mit trinken
und Musik, Bewegung von Frauen
etwas ich hab nie gesehen, gehört
hier ist für die Frau die nach
meine Nummer gefragt hatte,
eigentlich waren sie zu scheu
zu fragen, aber zu ihre Freund
hab gesagt "bin Kanadier,
leider fliege ich morgen nach Haus"
wurde gerne sagt: na, geht es nicht
weil ich schon eine Freundin habe, aber
vielen dank für die einzige Butch im Bar
die mir angekugt hat mit Lächeln und
nicht einen finsteren Blick hatte sein,
und hoffentlich hier, erdverlegt
und scharlachrot kannst du gleich
eine andere Frau finden
die lächelt und fliegt
es war ein blaues Frühlingsnacht im Altstadt
und alles blau in der Strasse war
aber unter dem Fußweg ist rot
und aufschimmert mit trinken
und Musik, Bewegung von Frauen
etwas ich hab nie gesehen, gehört
hier ist für die Frau die nach
meine Nummer gefragt hatte,
eigentlich waren sie zu scheu
zu fragen, aber zu ihre Freund
hab gesagt "bin Kanadier,
leider fliege ich morgen nach Haus"
wurde gerne sagt: na, geht es nicht
weil ich schon eine Freundin habe, aber
vielen dank für die einzige Butch im Bar
die mir angekugt hat mit Lächeln und
nicht einen finsteren Blick hatte sein,
und hoffentlich hier, erdverlegt
und scharlachrot kannst du gleich
eine andere Frau finden
die lächelt und fliegt
Friday, June 19, 2009
June 19th (A short rhyme for the incurably shy)
Nothing can keep us apart:
"Maybe isolation's good for you
That's okay
It's probably good for me, too."
"Maybe isolation's good for you
That's okay
It's probably good for me, too."
Thursday, June 18, 2009
june 18th
Maybe if I go to the gay bar
and buy lots of drinks everybody
will think that I am too rich to
be a homo but cool enough to
wear this beret
Also, the bartender is pretty
cute and if I keep buying all
these drinks maybe he will
think I am cute too
in this beret
but that it's too bad that
I'm not
gay,
ok?
and buy lots of drinks everybody
will think that I am too rich to
be a homo but cool enough to
wear this beret
Also, the bartender is pretty
cute and if I keep buying all
these drinks maybe he will
think I am cute too
in this beret
but that it's too bad that
I'm not
gay,
ok?
June 18th
Oh golly;
Dust off yer boots 'cause it's
treeplantin' time!
Smell of men and meat
in the mornin'
canvas tents
just like the good ol' days
when you turned a steering
wheel with the sheer
brute
force of yer muscles
all sore of saplings
That's hand-me down
denial you're wearing...
it comes with a free beret.
Dust off yer boots 'cause it's
treeplantin' time!
Smell of men and meat
in the mornin'
canvas tents
just like the good ol' days
when you turned a steering
wheel with the sheer
brute
force of yer muscles
all sore of saplings
That's hand-me down
denial you're wearing...
it comes with a free beret.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
JUne 17th
If Clark Kent were
engineer
stoner
he'd say
you smoke much?
have like a
significant other?
or just someone
you'd want to
go canoeing with?
or share a tent?
maybe yeah
and I wouldn't have
to watch
poet retirees
through the blinds
folding like lids
pacing until
lights go off
gradual
in every
room
engineer
stoner
he'd say
you smoke much?
have like a
significant other?
or just someone
you'd want to
go canoeing with?
or share a tent?
maybe yeah
and I wouldn't have
to watch
poet retirees
through the blinds
folding like lids
pacing until
lights go off
gradual
in every
room
june 17
there was a tide and it
swelled and it rose
and it fell and it
spilled from her
throat and it
welled up, was shining
her teeth into shell and
her mouth was an oyster,
her swollen anemone tongue
would be pearl
and she blinked through
the ocean, her eyes shifted
green but at night they were
blue beneath wet reefs of lashes,
she swam and the sea fell asleep.
swelled and it rose
and it fell and it
spilled from her
throat and it
welled up, was shining
her teeth into shell and
her mouth was an oyster,
her swollen anemone tongue
would be pearl
and she blinked through
the ocean, her eyes shifted
green but at night they were
blue beneath wet reefs of lashes,
she swam and the sea fell asleep.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
June 16th
we shake
the sleep
wake
sleep
wake
cycle in pedals
forget to let the
cat in
because she's here
in bed
or outside yowling
all subacute
miss the step
not just one
in caffeine eagerness
and that coinciding
gut drop
but way up to the
fourth floor
like
"and then I ate the bowl"
funny thing is
you told me this
would happen
first it didn't
despite
baby pictures
sweat and hospital green
mounted on poster board
christmas cards
and knees twitching
to wait
all nervous
for nerves
the sleep
wake
sleep
wake
cycle in pedals
forget to let the
cat in
because she's here
in bed
or outside yowling
all subacute
miss the step
not just one
in caffeine eagerness
and that coinciding
gut drop
but way up to the
fourth floor
like
"and then I ate the bowl"
funny thing is
you told me this
would happen
first it didn't
despite
baby pictures
sweat and hospital green
mounted on poster board
christmas cards
and knees twitching
to wait
all nervous
for nerves
june 16th
she stepped down
from uncaged tap-shoe tongues, too
careful not to snap her feathered
swan-neck stones afloat-
this cataract of flamingo lilies
brings the flood,
knows why it sings.
from uncaged tap-shoe tongues, too
careful not to snap her feathered
swan-neck stones afloat-
this cataract of flamingo lilies
brings the flood,
knows why it sings.
june 15th
quick while we're still poor let's
wander the used car lot at night
and count lightbulbs and trucks
we can't afford and go walking
in the alley and in the winter we'll
park in my driveway and idle
cuz it's warmer out here
than it is in my house and let's
eat ice cream watching the neighbour's
fenceful of christmas lights flicker
on and off
on off
again
wander the used car lot at night
and count lightbulbs and trucks
we can't afford and go walking
in the alley and in the winter we'll
park in my driveway and idle
cuz it's warmer out here
than it is in my house and let's
eat ice cream watching the neighbour's
fenceful of christmas lights flicker
on and off
on off
again
Monday, June 15, 2009
June 15th
miss you so much
I can't speak
without sounding high
mouth dry
or my mom
happens all the time
when I forget to ignore
everyone else
formulate and structure
like De Saussure's
symbols all arbus
so here's what comes out
a puppet show
and tree in all the languages
i know
if i could be
every foreigner
"ee-no-zaym-ka" again
all I'd need
was that book
with all those
coasting phrases
and little lost girl smile
but now
like laughing too loud
or you can't believe
I'm paranoid
and that it's not butter
or straight edge
we can call it
linguistic instability
and blame it on
self-imposed paralysis
or call ourselves
shy and
recoup
like
(at least)
they were
wrong when they
told us we'd cry
because how can
language succeed?
all it makes is icebergs
and the sound
of eye to brain
to mouth
to mouth again
I can't speak
without sounding high
mouth dry
or my mom
happens all the time
when I forget to ignore
everyone else
formulate and structure
like De Saussure's
symbols all arbus
so here's what comes out
a puppet show
and tree in all the languages
i know
if i could be
every foreigner
"ee-no-zaym-ka" again
all I'd need
was that book
with all those
coasting phrases
and little lost girl smile
but now
like laughing too loud
or you can't believe
I'm paranoid
and that it's not butter
or straight edge
we can call it
linguistic instability
and blame it on
self-imposed paralysis
or call ourselves
shy and
recoup
like
(at least)
they were
wrong when they
told us we'd cry
because how can
language succeed?
all it makes is icebergs
and the sound
of eye to brain
to mouth
to mouth again
july 14th
at the dairy queen there is a pink girl
serving ice cream with a sneer
raised pink eyebrow under pink sculpted
pincurls and bettie page waves
melting in the eighth street heat.
pink girls are pretty hot but
give me a flashback to pink
disasters, girls who used to
push me into pink bathroom
stalls or sinks or walls
for checking them out
or wanting to hold
hands so pink girl
hands me my change
and i take off careful
not to stare too long
into a pink sunset or
eclipse before she
takes out
my eye
serving ice cream with a sneer
raised pink eyebrow under pink sculpted
pincurls and bettie page waves
melting in the eighth street heat.
pink girls are pretty hot but
give me a flashback to pink
disasters, girls who used to
push me into pink bathroom
stalls or sinks or walls
for checking them out
or wanting to hold
hands so pink girl
hands me my change
and i take off careful
not to stare too long
into a pink sunset or
eclipse before she
takes out
my eye
july 13th
rest in peace,
eli, prince of cats-
the only boy
ever to get away with
puking on my bed
just cuz you were cute
and you liked to snuggle.
eli, prince of cats-
the only boy
ever to get away with
puking on my bed
just cuz you were cute
and you liked to snuggle.
penance for july 12th
working title: maybe you're just homosexual, or
the angry lesbian poem ;)
------------------------------------
this is how it was first
explained to me:
lesbians are women
that love other women, so
maybe she deserved it,
but don't talk shit about
your ex and how she is
a fat slutty bitch who
can go suck a dick
and expect me to call you
a lesbian.
the angry lesbian poem ;)
------------------------------------
this is how it was first
explained to me:
lesbians are women
that love other women, so
maybe she deserved it,
but don't talk shit about
your ex and how she is
a fat slutty bitch who
can go suck a dick
and expect me to call you
a lesbian.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
June 13th
more advice
like
however significant
you won't even know the people you do now
and
never come back after that
used to seem
like your favourite word
curmudgeon
now reassuring
as if I'd been assured before
like
however significant
you won't even know the people you do now
and
never come back after that
used to seem
like your favourite word
curmudgeon
now reassuring
as if I'd been assured before
Friday, June 12, 2009
June 12th
Hey honey,
when you finally
hit someone
(and you will)
not someone behind
their big steel cutout
all engines and
noises
but someone on
real feet with blisters
and cut-off jeans
When you finally hit
that person
I hope you
don't cook
go hoarse from
not being able to say
Even though you've
got the guiltiest eyebrows,
conscience and sorrier
than I could
possibly understand
I hope
I get real mad.
when you finally
hit someone
(and you will)
not someone behind
their big steel cutout
all engines and
noises
but someone on
real feet with blisters
and cut-off jeans
When you finally hit
that person
I hope you
don't cook
go hoarse from
not being able to say
Even though you've
got the guiltiest eyebrows,
conscience and sorrier
than I could
possibly understand
I hope
I get real mad.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
June 11th
When I ride at night
I get to
watch my shadow
elongate and
swell
under the gentle
coaxing of streetlights
rise as I ride fast
in my raincoat,
helmet head
upright.
Dear guy on a bike
(skinny frame and
buttons missing)
who asked for my number
and then blocked my way:
I am faster than you now
You couldn't stop me
like this
Why'd you try
before?
Road doesn't breach
no, we
don't breach
when I ride at night.
I get to
watch my shadow
elongate and
swell
under the gentle
coaxing of streetlights
rise as I ride fast
in my raincoat,
helmet head
upright.
Dear guy on a bike
(skinny frame and
buttons missing)
who asked for my number
and then blocked my way:
I am faster than you now
You couldn't stop me
like this
Why'd you try
before?
Road doesn't breach
no, we
don't breach
when I ride at night.
penance: episode two
did you know
most lipstick
is made of fish
scales? she said
grinning
(her mouth a red smear of
teeth, flash and a scaly
glisten)
most lipstick
is made of fish
scales? she said
grinning
(her mouth a red smear of
teeth, flash and a scaly
glisten)
potential slam candidate and penance for yesterday
dropping in on my dad's art class
there's a girl from the trailer park
tryna play show and tell
with the other girls
she's wearing
her older brother's jeans
and a hot wheels t-shirt.
her name is Sam
and i can see those other girls aren't
listening to her, they wonder
why she isn't samantha
and why she's wearing boy
clothes but she doesn't care
she's bored
and runs over to me with a
gartersnake in a plastic
terrarium and says
"wanna see?"
and somethin kinda clicks
in me and boy is she glad i'm not
like the other girls, all scared
of snakes
and i think
she's pretty cool even though
i'm eleven and she's maybe nine
and that's totally not
cool
cuz
when i ask my dad about her after class
he makes a face. there was a remark
that i did not understand. she was a tough nut
at nine years old and probably my neighbour
but i never saw sam again.
i wonder what happened to her.
i wonder if she kept those jeans.
i wonder about the first time she tried lipgloss
off another girl's mouth i wonder if she got beat up
if she played football if she ever came out
got out or was locked out of her body like me
for so long
maybe she's a welder, or something.
maybe she's got a bunch of babies.
maybe i am the only one who remembers this
baby butch before i knew the word
thinking she was the coolest thing i'd ever heard of
but i had forgotten about this 'til you got the snake.
look at how proud it is livin' in the dirt-
crawls on its belly and makes girls scream but
i think it's just beautiful.
there's a girl from the trailer park
tryna play show and tell
with the other girls
she's wearing
her older brother's jeans
and a hot wheels t-shirt.
her name is Sam
and i can see those other girls aren't
listening to her, they wonder
why she isn't samantha
and why she's wearing boy
clothes but she doesn't care
she's bored
and runs over to me with a
gartersnake in a plastic
terrarium and says
"wanna see?"
and somethin kinda clicks
in me and boy is she glad i'm not
like the other girls, all scared
of snakes
and i think
she's pretty cool even though
i'm eleven and she's maybe nine
and that's totally not
cool
cuz
when i ask my dad about her after class
he makes a face. there was a remark
that i did not understand. she was a tough nut
at nine years old and probably my neighbour
but i never saw sam again.
i wonder what happened to her.
i wonder if she kept those jeans.
i wonder about the first time she tried lipgloss
off another girl's mouth i wonder if she got beat up
if she played football if she ever came out
got out or was locked out of her body like me
for so long
maybe she's a welder, or something.
maybe she's got a bunch of babies.
maybe i am the only one who remembers this
baby butch before i knew the word
thinking she was the coolest thing i'd ever heard of
but i had forgotten about this 'til you got the snake.
look at how proud it is livin' in the dirt-
crawls on its belly and makes girls scream but
i think it's just beautiful.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
June 10th
I'm
lady lateness
old cheddar bagel
with nothing on it
You're
wheaties
and spinach
and skinny leg jeans
sake and hair like
the prom
prompt
lady lateness
old cheddar bagel
with nothing on it
You're
wheaties
and spinach
and skinny leg jeans
sake and hair like
the prom
prompt
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
June 9th
wish you would
show up on my doorstep
again
like mormons
and gardeners
or the song I wrote drunk
on sunday
with a pad of paper
and a mandelbrot set
moles growing like
fractals or
constellations
to connect for
future physicists
(by then, discipline archaic,
they will find the
prettiest things)
these images weren't safe
floating in cyberspace
it's good we set them
floating in nature,
all those identical sheep
in little folios,
made them
aesthetic law.
show up on my doorstep
again
like mormons
and gardeners
or the song I wrote drunk
on sunday
with a pad of paper
and a mandelbrot set
moles growing like
fractals or
constellations
to connect for
future physicists
(by then, discipline archaic,
they will find the
prettiest things)
these images weren't safe
floating in cyberspace
it's good we set them
floating in nature,
all those identical sheep
in little folios,
made them
aesthetic law.
june 9th
while the lights warm up
in the warehouse, i am counting
pleisiosaurs still in their plaster
jackets, stone scales of ancient fish
while you take pictures of a skull,
light up in flash and dust of
dinosaur
while i watch you study something
you will never really see, this time
you are the poet
in the warehouse, i am counting
pleisiosaurs still in their plaster
jackets, stone scales of ancient fish
while you take pictures of a skull,
light up in flash and dust of
dinosaur
while i watch you study something
you will never really see, this time
you are the poet
Monday, June 8, 2009
june 8th- fleetwood meets frida :)
you were the first
gold dust woman,
tangled in that bus
accident with fireworks
scarlet-lettering your legs
your feet gave you red
and watery disasters
but your hands grew
brushes and birds
and haven't we all
had those accidents
where we end up
bloody sore and metal-
scarred and dusted with gold?
gold dust woman,
tangled in that bus
accident with fireworks
scarlet-lettering your legs
your feet gave you red
and watery disasters
but your hands grew
brushes and birds
and haven't we all
had those accidents
where we end up
bloody sore and metal-
scarred and dusted with gold?
Sunday, June 7, 2009
june 7th- backwards poem
sometimes those things make the best poems
too sad
how come
i'm not going to write about that
no you don't have to
write a poem about that
i can't write a poem when you are talking about that
you have to write a poem
you can't fall asleep
if you want to
tell me about it
when i was living with her
i think i was borderline suicidal
you know,
too sad
how come
i'm not going to write about that
no you don't have to
write a poem about that
i can't write a poem when you are talking about that
you have to write a poem
you can't fall asleep
if you want to
tell me about it
when i was living with her
i think i was borderline suicidal
you know,
June 7th
I got it
Master tapes
Played one foot off the pavement
Found them
Boxed in that perpetual
Archival reel running like
A mobius strip
Can't believe we
Misplaced them
In the last drawer
(under the peace flags)
In all nostalgia's attics--
and they each look the same;
Three quarters full of lemon gin
Old family photos in
Black and white from our fathers'
Artist days
One-upmanship and the
Autoharp
I got it
Everything I need
To remake that shrine
New! In colour!
So sacred and finished
That we would stop resting.
Master tapes
Played one foot off the pavement
Found them
Boxed in that perpetual
Archival reel running like
A mobius strip
Can't believe we
Misplaced them
In the last drawer
(under the peace flags)
In all nostalgia's attics--
and they each look the same;
Three quarters full of lemon gin
Old family photos in
Black and white from our fathers'
Artist days
One-upmanship and the
Autoharp
I got it
Everything I need
To remake that shrine
New! In colour!
So sacred and finished
That we would stop resting.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
June 5th (cutting it close!)
First time I saw you
you were down
Eyes turned under thick
seemed down
like that blanket
Linus carried around
feathered by ducklings
cotton-covered
with the weight
of just too many creamy
voices not enough like yours
Old lids all sleep
and curtains-turned-bedsheets
labcoat factory-tufts
hemmed
up
Seemed down
you were down
Eyes turned under thick
seemed down
like that blanket
Linus carried around
feathered by ducklings
cotton-covered
with the weight
of just too many creamy
voices not enough like yours
Old lids all sleep
and curtains-turned-bedsheets
labcoat factory-tufts
hemmed
up
Seemed down
June 5th
All I get
when the squat yellow taxi
brakes hard rolling back
for my shiny black business flats
is your cat-call of
"sorry 'bout that!"
when the squat yellow taxi
brakes hard rolling back
for my shiny black business flats
is your cat-call of
"sorry 'bout that!"
Thursday, June 4, 2009
two for the price of one today
Late shift at the call centre-
in between hang-ups, he asks me
about moonlighting, my day job
as a dancer:
Does your boyfriend mind
other men looking at you
like you're a piece of meat?
He is thinking: red lipstick
and tits on ice. Snow White
under glass. Something to sink
his teeth into.
Not meat, I tell him.
If everyone looked at me and saw
blood guts and muscle,
I'd never make any tips.
My girlfriend will butcher you later.
in between hang-ups, he asks me
about moonlighting, my day job
as a dancer:
Does your boyfriend mind
other men looking at you
like you're a piece of meat?
He is thinking: red lipstick
and tits on ice. Snow White
under glass. Something to sink
his teeth into.
Not meat, I tell him.
If everyone looked at me and saw
blood guts and muscle,
I'd never make any tips.
My girlfriend will butcher you later.
June 4th
curling your fingers around mine i feel
the lines of your hands like the veins
of a leaf, feathergreen in the shape
of my tongue and whisperthin,
the voices of trees
shadowsplit
sunrustling
rooted in
sky
the lines of your hands like the veins
of a leaf, feathergreen in the shape
of my tongue and whisperthin,
the voices of trees
shadowsplit
sunrustling
rooted in
sky
June 4th
You're
the word
the word that eases
itself out into traffic
merges on the freeway
matching our speed
all glossy grey
dings in the hood like you needed a mouth guard
the word
I say,
tired of explaining
soothes the problem
of other minds
You're showing up in dictionaries
lovably redundant and
oh-so-personable
crackling the air
made of gasoline and salt water
dry like white noise
can't stop saying
the word.
the word
the word that eases
itself out into traffic
merges on the freeway
matching our speed
all glossy grey
dings in the hood like you needed a mouth guard
the word
I say,
tired of explaining
soothes the problem
of other minds
You're showing up in dictionaries
lovably redundant and
oh-so-personable
crackling the air
made of gasoline and salt water
dry like white noise
can't stop saying
the word.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
June 3rd
If we read the paper,
It would say:
Shed your flannel
Basement Suite Blues
Because
You get to
Wake up every morning
With someone
(You're not in love with)
Wrinkle open
Your yawning furrows
Sheets like pleats
And the worn out patch
At the back of your pantyhose--
It's Breakfast!
It would say:
Shed your flannel
Basement Suite Blues
Because
You get to
Wake up every morning
With someone
(You're not in love with)
Wrinkle open
Your yawning furrows
Sheets like pleats
And the worn out patch
At the back of your pantyhose--
It's Breakfast!
June 3rd
in the dawn, the sense of gray over traffic
under rain, under sky
under the water, the eyes open, then
blink away all this gray
at sunrise, blink over
a red muscle.
under rain, under sky
under the water, the eyes open, then
blink away all this gray
at sunrise, blink over
a red muscle.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
June 2nd
This dear oven's called Excalibur
And it's got its own chicken stink
Sits right next to that deepfreeze
vomit, hovering low and pregnant.
Named like an Archie character
(there's a fallacy in direct address
All tried and true)
I heard he left here once
Left, like a mid-life crisis
But only to be the sushi guy
Still ready to serve at 7am
And sweet:
Dust bowl fish bait rolls
All full of pickled veggies
Slimy and
Chickenshit
With those fluorescents tuning up an A
Just a little too sloppy.
Came back to hide it in
the neat corners of whitebread crusts
Tucked right under the barcode
Not quite
Too much information
Or behind
the bucket of chickens lining up.
Demure,
Like all the dead white guys
Were right.
And it's got its own chicken stink
Sits right next to that deepfreeze
vomit, hovering low and pregnant.
Named like an Archie character
(there's a fallacy in direct address
All tried and true)
I heard he left here once
Left, like a mid-life crisis
But only to be the sushi guy
Still ready to serve at 7am
And sweet:
Dust bowl fish bait rolls
All full of pickled veggies
Slimy and
Chickenshit
With those fluorescents tuning up an A
Just a little too sloppy.
Came back to hide it in
the neat corners of whitebread crusts
Tucked right under the barcode
Not quite
Too much information
Or behind
the bucket of chickens lining up.
Demure,
Like all the dead white guys
Were right.
June 2nd
listen
there's some fragile storm stirring between us
i can feel it in my bones since you've unraveled their red sleeves
and hollowed them with splinters of lightning leaving me
a lacy matrix where veins and common sense used to flicker.
now when I comb my hair I worry about brushfires,
ilium and ischium ablaze, incendiary trillium
of kindling. the tips of my fingers matchsticks.
when you touch my hands, smoke.
there's some fragile storm stirring between us
i can feel it in my bones since you've unraveled their red sleeves
and hollowed them with splinters of lightning leaving me
a lacy matrix where veins and common sense used to flicker.
now when I comb my hair I worry about brushfires,
ilium and ischium ablaze, incendiary trillium
of kindling. the tips of my fingers matchsticks.
when you touch my hands, smoke.
hummingbird, spoken word
Instead of studying, I downloaded Audacity and had some fun with yesterday's poem and a random funky sort of youtube track....behold the results:
It should be subtitled "Leah practices her sexy voice." *ahem...blush*
Here's the original youtube link with the background music for citation purposes:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQKy5Od8hdk
It should be subtitled "Leah practices her sexy voice." *ahem...blush*
Here's the original youtube link with the background music for citation purposes:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQKy5Od8hdk
Monday, June 1, 2009
June 1st
he said
wowyourheart'sbeatingsofast
i said
yes
he said
why
i said
i
am
a
hummingbird
no
he said
you know
why
don't
you
believe me
i'm slick
feathered
purple
heart
buzzing
i
fluttertongue
nectar
and
i'm
needlesharp
wowyourheart'sbeatingsofast
i said
yes
he said
why
i said
i
am
a
hummingbird
no
he said
you know
why
don't
you
believe me
i'm slick
feathered
purple
heart
buzzing
i
fluttertongue
nectar
and
i'm
needlesharp
June 1st
Here's the premise:
Like in every reality TV show,
We switch bodies.
You stitch my skin around yourself
and build a fat, sleeping-bag worm
That looks like I'm inside.
You'll make the same faces,
and the volleyball team will wonder
If I still carry my keys on the right,
Or eat your pork n' beans and Guinness,
Know how to make a highway or,
Have taught my body (your giftwrap),
How to ravel up a sweater,
If I wake up at noon,
Who did that?
The CBC will interview us
"Where did you get this idea?"
Use "poignant" and we'll act like
We're friends,
We're blood.
Wait. Here's the premise:
You will take only my skin.
Stitch it around yourself and stretch
it like a suit
And it will sag and cover up
and bind itself to your
tendons and ligaments,
congealing like spaghetti.
Like in every reality TV show,
You will try to give it back,
Because it's not the prize you wanted.
I will figure out what it is;
That thing that you have wrong.
And walk around skinless
Until you give me yours
It's gotta be cold by now, but you can't
Keep it.
Not if we want this to work
Like we planned.
What will we tell the CBC
When they ask about our book launch?
We will conclude that we have
Become our own children;
Absurd conglomerations of our traits -- biased and ungenetic.
And pry off our skins
Like cleansing masks,
Scraping off the bits that stuck
With Emory boards.
In ten to fifteen years
We could arrange to meet again
By someone else's design.
He is a biologist at Concordia, and he will
tell us
In a room with a one-way mirror
Like when we appeared on television
He will tell us
"How well you know each other's bodies."
Like in every reality TV show,
We switch bodies.
You stitch my skin around yourself
and build a fat, sleeping-bag worm
That looks like I'm inside.
You'll make the same faces,
and the volleyball team will wonder
If I still carry my keys on the right,
Or eat your pork n' beans and Guinness,
Know how to make a highway or,
Have taught my body (your giftwrap),
How to ravel up a sweater,
If I wake up at noon,
Who did that?
The CBC will interview us
"Where did you get this idea?"
Use "poignant" and we'll act like
We're friends,
We're blood.
Wait. Here's the premise:
You will take only my skin.
Stitch it around yourself and stretch
it like a suit
And it will sag and cover up
and bind itself to your
tendons and ligaments,
congealing like spaghetti.
Like in every reality TV show,
You will try to give it back,
Because it's not the prize you wanted.
I will figure out what it is;
That thing that you have wrong.
And walk around skinless
Until you give me yours
It's gotta be cold by now, but you can't
Keep it.
Not if we want this to work
Like we planned.
What will we tell the CBC
When they ask about our book launch?
We will conclude that we have
Become our own children;
Absurd conglomerations of our traits -- biased and ungenetic.
And pry off our skins
Like cleansing masks,
Scraping off the bits that stuck
With Emory boards.
In ten to fifteen years
We could arrange to meet again
By someone else's design.
He is a biologist at Concordia, and he will
tell us
In a room with a one-way mirror
Like when we appeared on television
He will tell us
"How well you know each other's bodies."
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