June 15th

miss you so much
I can't speak
without sounding high
mouth dry
or my mom

happens all the time
when I forget to ignore
everyone else
formulate and structure
like De Saussure's
symbols all arbus
so here's what comes out
a puppet show
and tree in all the languages
i know

if i could be
every foreigner
"ee-no-zaym-ka" again
all I'd need
was that book
with all those
coasting phrases
and little lost girl smile

but now
like laughing too loud
or you can't believe
I'm paranoid
and that it's not butter
or straight edge

we can call it
linguistic instability
and blame it on
self-imposed paralysis
or call ourselves
shy and
recoup

like
(at least)
they were
wrong when they
told us we'd cry
because how can
language succeed?
all it makes is icebergs
and the sound
of eye to brain
to mouth
to mouth again